The Funniest Dream I’ve Ever Had

30 Dec

My dreams are usually pretty absurd, assuming I can even remember them. But last night I had probably one of the funniest dreams I can remember.  Now as a quick backstory, my dreams usually incorporate some extremely small detail or event that took place the day before. In this case, the day before my dream I had bought the video game “DMC: Devil May Cry” during a Steam sale.  I hadn’t even played it, I just bought it and forgot about it; a totally forgettable event. However, by brain remembered it.

Now have you ever heard of the old school hip hop group “Run D.M.C.”?  If they don’t come to mind, you’ve almost certainly heard one of their songs before (such as “It’s Tricky” or “Walk This Way”).

You may have guessed where this is headed already.  So in my dream it was apparently several decades in the past, because the computers were pretty old school.  In the dream, in order to run video games on the computer, you had had to type “run” in the proper command into DOS or the command prompt.  In this case, I wanted to play, you guessed it, DMC: Devil May Cry.  I remember being in my dream and realizing “Hey, that’s how Run D.M.C. got their name! Because when you go to play Devil May Cry, you have to type in ‘Run DMC’ “.

Obviously, Devil May Cry wasn’t even around when Run DMC was started, but when I woke up I found it absolutely hilarious that my brain was able to construct such a both logical and absurd situation from nothing. So that’s basically the end of the story, it was a rather quick dream.  Though, I can’t help but laugh.

Q.I. – A Refreshing Blend of Comedy and Education

08 Aug

It seems like every year TV shows get dumber and dumber. Eventually we might be in the world of Fahrenheit 451 or Idiocracy where people’s entire lives revolve around soul sucking TV shows. Reality shows were just the first step.

However, I think there are still some great shows on TV. I Tivo mostly everything, since it seems like unless what’s on is my favorite show, it’s utter rubbish.  Then I have to download some great foreign shows like Q.I., which if you’ve never heard of it, I feel very bad for you and very excited at the same time. The first time you watch it you’ll wonder why you had never heard of such an amazing show. Basically they take famous comedians and turn it into a type of quiz-show, but the combination leaves you “Quite Interested” and entertained.

One of my favorite and most memorable (and quotable) segments was the famous “They say of the acropolis…” episode. I really can’t do it justice by typing out what happens, so I think you should just watch it yourself. You owe yourself that.

I don’t think there’s anything else for me to say, except to congratulate you on a hilarious catch phrase / song you’ll be singing all day, but none of your friends will understand.

Death Threats? YouTube Doesn’t Care

06 Aug

So earlier today I got a pretty disturbing PM from a guy in my inbox basically saying he’s going to “hack my ip”, find me and kill me. Now I didn’t find the threat particularly credible, but I decided to report the abuse anyway just because of it’s severity.  I get angry commenters all the time, but when someone takes it to the level of threatening to kill me, I definitely feel I should report it no matter how non-credible I think the threat is. And you should too; if there’s one thing the internet taught me, is there are a lot of crazy mutants out there.

Murder Threat PM

       The guy also left a comment on my video basically saying the same thing. Apparently he deleted it, so I couldn’t select it using the report tool, but as of this writing it is still CLEARLY shows up on his profile history. You can see where he told me “You Wasting My Time I Hack your ip Find you And Kill You Son Of a [B*****]“. I mentioned in the report where they could see this comment on his profile. I took screenshots of the PM as well as the comment on his profile, and I attached it in the report.

Murder Threat Comment

       However, I just got an email from YouTube that says, “We’re unable to identify a violation of our Community Guidelines within your recent report to our Safety and Abuse Tool.” Interestingly enough, the subject of the canned email was “Action Taken.” Though I couldn’t find any evidence of whatever action they were referring to and this violent and obviously disturbed individual faced no consequences.

No Action Taken

 

Internet threats are commonplace, but that doesn’t mean they’re OK.  Anonymity brings out the worst in people, and it reminds me of the quote by Oscar Wilde, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”   Now I’m not saying anonymity is always a bad thing, and it’s really shaped the internet into what it is today. I’m almost certain it won’t be like that forever, and I’m somewhat looking forward to it.  The day that people’s online actions stop being inconsequential will certainly be interesting. Until then, YouTube should take reports like these seriously.  The person reviewing the report obviously did not even look at the threats or investigate at all, despite it all being laid out in front of him. Come on YouTube, you claim:

“We want to ensure that Youtube is a safe place for our users while allowing for a vibrant community to flourish. While some content may be insulting or offensive please note that we will only remove serious threats.

I guess a death threat just isn’t serious enough, YouTube?  What a joke. I can’t even imagine what happens to all the other reports by people who received less severe yet still disturbing threats. Quite honestly, I can’t even be sure the report was reviewed by a human at all. How are we to know if an algorithm doesn’t search through the reports and determine which ones are “serious” enough for human review?  I guess that’s what you can expect from a massive corporation that doesn’t even have customer support email.

That’s the end of my rant, but I think something really needs to be done about this.  Law enforcement is not equipped to deal with internet threats, nor do they have the time.  Until they do, we just have to hope people aren’t as crazy in real life as they are on the internet.

 

ADDENDUM: I think I should clarify that I understand why YouTube would not accept screenshots as evidence, since they are extremely easy to fake. However, I want to specify what I believe are the two biggest problems with YouTube’s system for reporting abuse.

  1. You can’t report PMs. This is huge, since if someone is targeting someone else specifically, they will be likely to use PMs. The fact that you can only use comments as evidence, which the other person can delete any time, is stupid.
  2. YouTube obviously does not spend a lot of time reviewing these reports and/or doesn’t take them seriously. If they had taken two seconds to look at the guy’s profile, they would have surely seen the comment I was referring to.

This article isn’t about me. It’s about YouTube.

How to Get Free Money (Joke Video)

22 Apr

I realized that a lot of people who initially think my videos are real were looking for something free.  Whether it be a free way to get faster internet, cable, phone calls, etc.  So I thought why not go to the heart of it all, and just make a video about how to get free money!  Surely this would be a popular one.  I thought it was pretty funny, so let me know what you think as well.

Reading Viewer Mail 1

26 Jan

This video is somewhat related to my “Reading My Hate Comments” series, but slightly different.  Instead of reading hate comments exclusively, I try to pick legitimate questions, funny questions, general comments, etc.  Although “Reading My Hate Comments” was a pretty popular series and is often requested, there’s one thing that stops me.  You see, ever since I made those videos, idiots have been spamming my videos with blatantly fake hate comments trying to get on those videos.  I always ignore them, and they would never get in a video.  I want to entertain my viewers, but I certainly don’t want to encourage stupidity in my comments section, and for this reason I probably will not do another “Reading My Hate Comments” in the foreseeable future.  This will hopefully be a suitable replacement.